judgement

I went to the psychology of vision website to do a three card reading and at the bototm of the page is Chuck’s “quote of the day”. It says:

“Anytime you are not in wonder, transfixed by the beauty around you, you are in judgement.”

…and I think, “oh jeez. I am definitely not transfixed by the beauty around me.” I felt compelled to share the quote. First impulse was facebook, but I thought no, trite and insular. Then I thought to put it here. As I logged in I thought, hmmm I wonder what my first card is going to be? Maybe the whole reading will be about judgment.

First card?

JUDGEMENT.

I kid you not. So here’s what the card is about:

Judgment: projected blame, hiding guilt and denial; acting separate or superior
It says that judgment is an attempt to separate, or push ourselves away. It denies or hides repressed guilt. We attempt to project the guilt we feel inside to make it seem as though the judgment has nothing to do with us. What you judge, you try to keep yourself away from and see yourself as different or superior.

It actually traps us in whatever problem we’re having. We refuse to accept what is at hand and so it cannot be transformed or improved. As we resist the problem persists. We trap ourselves by accusing others of what we feel guilty about. We are blaming them for our past, not theirs.

Often the guilt may be buried under a compensation. For example people who feel very guilty sometimes act as if they are very good as a compensation.  But the compensatory “act” of goodness allows no reward because all our effort is always going into the compensation.

We are advised to give it up. In forgiving others you acknowledge your innocence and in forgiving yourself you see others as innocent.*

******

This reminds me heavily of THE SCAPEGOAT COMPLEX, in which our early life experiences of being told the acceptable and unacceptable ways to be (as opposed to what it’s like to be a whole person and how to navigate all of the apparent conflicts that naturally arise), lead us to internalize an inner accuser and an inner scapegoat. This internalized conflict then manifests again in our outer relationships as projection. Our inner accuser may lash out at others, judging them for being or behaving in ways that our inner scapegoat would never be allowed. Or our inner scapegoat may carry more of the blame in our relationships than is really our due. Either way, it’s an exaggerated projection of one of the either two sides of the complex.

The card I got as THE WAY THROUGH was LEADERSHIP. Becoming more conscious, or Self-conscious (conscious of Self) is, in my estimation, one of the greatest acts of leadership anyone can do. Becoming aware of our inner voices and conflicts enables us to take back our projections and learn to hold the tension of the opposites within ourselves with greater balance and poise, as opposed to being possessed and acting out one particular angle of the complex at any given time.

Only then can we relate to people as other. Only when there is some separation can we really start relating with an other. Otherwise we are in a state of identification or fusion, where other people are experienced as a mere extension of ourselves. In that state, we are always in for a rude awakening when we, inevitably, find out that those people in our lives to which we seemed so perfectly matched are in fact not a clone of us!

 
 
*paraphrased from the explanation of Dr. Chuck Spezzano
To do your own three card reading, visit: www.psyhcologyofvision.com and scroll down to the bottom of the page.
 
 
 

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