Last night’s dreams…
Dream 1: I was at some kind of college. There was some kind of festivity going on, maybe a last day of school thing or a last day of finals thing or a reunion? They were serving dinner in a buffet/cafeteria style outside. I was in one of the rooms, maybe my dorm room, but it was in a very nice building and the rooms were more grown-up. I think I was packing or trying to organize my things, but I was concerned that they were clearing the dinner service and I hadn’t eaten yet. For some reason I couldn’t drop what I was doing. I was trying to get someone’s attention to see if they could wait a while before clearing the dinner service, or put a plate aside for me. I think they were going to throw the food away, so if I missed it I wouldn’t have dinner.
Dream 2: I was in the country sort of. I think it was supposed to be a ski trip with M. There was a very high hill that had kind of a flat top against which stood the house we were staying in. The hill was 90 degree vertical incline, just straight up and down and it was covered in a thick blanket of snow. The house was brick, I can’t figure out what era though. Perhaps early 20th century, definitely a mansion with big square columns and a flat top. The roof of the house was nearly flush with the mesa of the hill. M was up on top of the hill playing in the snow. I think I had been up there with him and then came down. When I went to go back up, I realized I couldn’t possibly climb the side of the mountain because it was completely vertical. He pointed out that I could go up through the house onto the roof and then get onto the hill top that way. It was night time. I was a little trepidatious about going up into the attic, since I had a feeling it was extremely haunted. But I went up into the house and up into the attic anyway. I could feel the energy up there was extremely hostile. It was indeed haunted by very dark very volatile, hostile poltergeists. As in all of these haunted house dreams, I tried not let on that I knew. I went out onto the roof and there were others there; other people who lived at the house. It was daylight out. Some of the people had rooms in the attic and the house. I didn’t understand how they could live there and sleep up there. Some of them even said how much they loved their rooms and loved how antique it was and found it so cozy and pretty. I realized that not everyone is not attune to what I am, that I could feel and sense things that they could not. There was a chauffeur on the roof with a black limousine. At one point I was looking out over the view from the roof and on the railing there was a written message. It was an answer to something but I can’t remember what the question was. Part of the answer was, “…then why does he have no head?” I turned around to look at the chauffeur and, sure enough, he had no head. I exclaimed with great enthusiasm about that. I think I yelped out, “Oh my God, you’re right! He has no head! HAHAHA!” Then his head popped back and he was laughing. I thought that was pretty cool and it meant something. Then I had my attention back on meeting M in the snow. Somehow I had his computer or movie player and I got distracted looking through the most recent movies he had watched. One of them was from the 1940’s it was kind of a synchronized snow skiing movie, like the Esther Williams movies, but with snow and skiing. There were lots of women doing all kinds of synchronized, acrobatic, aerial tricks on their skis. Some of them where attached to small planes that would lift them off of the snow and they would do tricks in the air and then touch down on their skis again.
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These dreams were particularly vivid and a break from what I’ve been dreaming most of lately. I’m still not quite sure what to do with the themes. The first dream is striking in that I am in a place of higher learning (intellect) where there is a system that I must follow if I am to survive (eat). I am in the middle of something that is very important to me (getting organized…perhaps taking the time I need to sort through my thoughts and feelings, which is something I feel very unable to do in my waking life) and yet I will have to drop it if I am going to be able to eat at this place. It’s like my hands are tied. What ever choice I make leaves me deprived in some way.
The second dream seems to be a great deal about being in “head”. M, who I associate with “head” and intellect is on the top of a snowy hill. Attached to this hill is a brick mansion, which is very male (or Patriarchal) to me. I was trying to figure out the era of architecture of this mansion and I found myself searching for images of City Hall buildings and Banks. I fear going up into the attic of this mansion (head) for it is haunted and hostile. Then when I am out on the roof, in the “spirit” realm, there is a male (animus) figure, a driver (one who takes me wherever I need to go) and he has no head! He is completely capable and, yet, has no head. This man is friendly and definitely on my side in the dream. We almost have a little secret of knowing between us; a different kind of knowing.
I’m obviously trying to work something out in terms of differentiating between masculine spirit as a constructive, manifesting energy and patriarchal “headiness” as a stifling or paralyzing (“freezing” snow) energy. I’m not quite sure what to make of M’s movies. Since the films were filled with women, it has something to do with Anima, I presume, but I’ll have to let it stew longer…