Lesson 4: Forgiveness isn’t something I do, it’s something that’s done through me.
“Forgiveness is a choice, an asking on our part to free ourselves, to free the situation, and to free those around us. It is not something that we do, it is a choice that allows the grace to move through us to transform the situation.
In situations that seem completely beyond us, where we are completely stuck in utter pain and despair, asking our Higher Power to bring about forgiveness will help move us through our unwillingness and fear, thereby allowing our Higher Power to do all the work for us.” –Chuck Spezzano, PhD
The exercise is to sit back and choose a situation that seems chronic and utterly beyond our power to change, then to take five minutes to think of the situation and ask our Higher Power for the help and forgiveness to move through us to transform the situation. Do this three times today, once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once in the evening. Chuck encourages us to allow the blessing of forgiveness to come through us. “The blessing frees you and helps you to know that anything can be done through the grace of your Higher Power”.
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I recently read a wonderful definition of God in Dr. Margaret Paul’s Inner Bonding program. She uses the term “God”, to refer to “the energy of unconditional love, truth, wisdom, peace and joy that is available to all of us in the unseen spiritual realm when we learn to access it. ‘God’ refers to your personal experience of the Divine – a person, a light, a presence, an energy, nature…when we use the term ‘spiritual guidance’ we are referring to information coming through your mind (rather than from your mind)”. I believe that for many of us, most of us, even those who were raised with religious beliefs, the relationship to this Higher Power is one that needs to be cultivated like any other. I think our relationship to this aspect of ourselves is very often based more in how we’ve internalized our parents (the original “authority figure”). Sometimes that false image needs to be undone so that we can access and trust our true Higher Power.
I have to be honest, sometimes I really don’t know what the “loving thing to do” is, because I am still so often thinking with my brain and not tapped into that channel of spiritual guidance. My connection to that channel is still fragile and vague; something I am working to grow stronger and more clear.
I know that yesterday’s exercise freed me some and did change my perspective, but I woke up this morning still feeling hurt feelings so I think it’s good that there is another forgiveness exercise today. I will do as instructed…I will do my best.