Lesson 9: I Can Feel Rejected Only When I Am Trying To Take Something

“We can only feel hurt, rejected, or heartbroken when we surreptitiously take from our partner under the guise of giving. If we feel rejected, we are being asked to take a look at where in the situation we are giving to take. We can only feel rejected when we get our hand slapped as it sneaks toward the cookie jar.

Wholeness makes no demands. No one can reject us when there is nothing that we need. In moving forward, fully giving, and asking nothing, we cannot be pushed away, because we are irresistible. It does not matter what the other person’s behavior is because we are not trying to have them do it our way to meet our needs. Even if they pushed away, we would only feel ourselves loving them, because we are not trying to get something from them.

Nobody can stop our love, nobody can stop our giving, and this is what we really want, just to give to them. We can give to them even from thousands of miles away. Only when we are giving to take can we feel hurt at all.

Today, let go of what you have been trying to take, and give fully. Give your support without asking that anything be returned to you. Giving is not a form of manipulation or a sacrifice to get something back from someone. When you truly give, it will move you forward, open, enlarge, and enhance you. Through it, you will truly receive and enjoy the fruits of our own giving – love itself.” –Chuck Spezzano, PhD


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